Saturday, October 29, 2005

Oh my gawd.. Wtf??!?

Which dysfunctional care bear am I?

I could've been a thug bear, a bondage bear, a redneck bear, a stoner bear.. but a frigging GAY BEAR?!?!??!?

gggggggggggggaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.. ppppppppppfffffffffffftttttttttt

Gay Bear
Gay Bear

Damn a need a boyfriend..

Which Dysfunctional Care Bear Are You?
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Dota 101 - from one noob to another

Curiousity has finally taken over.. how does anyone in their right mind spend 10 freaking hours playing the same computer game? Well, to be fair, it takes on a certain edge of admiration towards these BRAVE men on my part...

After a very vague, pointless, 10 minute, half-past-six lesson on dota from my dota-obsessed brother i am now able to look at dota from a whole new perspective. Dota is not anymore just another time-and-money wasting-butt enlarging-finger muscle building-eye spoiling sport.

Dota is now a computer game. A game which requires actual brain power. A game which stresses you out. A game which could easily make the biggest-toughest-fiercest but dota-ly handicapped chap go weak in the knees and wince like a monkey... :)

Here is a brief overview
Step 1: Choose hero (in my context, look for the most "gaya" looking character.. Who cares if the hero is difficult to manage? who cares if it's one of the weaker heroes?)

Step2: Buy itenaries - don't know what to buy? Well, if you chose a character who's powers are based on intelligence, buy items which would help boost the hero's intelligence. Still blur? Tap the guy next to you if you're in a cafe.. i usually tap my brother's shoulder. Make sure to dodge as fast as possible as soon as you catch a glimpse of his/her arm nearing anywhere your face.

Step 3: Look for enemies to kill. - Don't know which is friend and which is foe? Kill it anyway.

Step 4: Make way to the enemy's base

Step 5: Destroy base
Warning: Its not as easy as it sounds

Step 6: Scream for joy you've won!!

- To all the noobs, Ignore Step 3 onwards. All you have to do is try to stay alive.. and occasionally kill vicious or enemy looking characters.

If all fails, scream, jump, cry, curse, bang your fists on the table (be sure to avoid the mouse and the keyboard in the process). Basically, do whatever that helps in dealing with the pain of being owned. It wouldn't help you win but it would definitely help in decreasing death-by-dota tendencies. Believe me.. I've tried it, It Works! :)

Definitely an easy game to play, but to some, including myself.. extemely difficult to master.

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Don't cha!

Don't you just hate it when nothing is the way it seems?

Don't you sometimes feel like you're living a lie? Even worse when there's nothing you can do about it?

Don't you just have it when someone insults you without even realising it?
Worse, when you're hurting like you've just broken all the bones in your body inside and that someone's having the best day of his/her life..

Don't you just hate it when you always come in second no matter how hard you try?

Don't you just hate superficial relationships? Its as if you're living a freaking lie. Its as if you're forced to stage a play 24/7. Its as if the smile on your face is the result of a face lift gone wrong.. Bloody tiring shit. Bloody stressful. And bloody well, not worth my time...

Don't you just hate disgustingly ungrateful dates? I mean, if you're uninterested and all have the decency and at least the balls to let the other person know. Why be present in the first place? A flutter in his or her heart is probably a flutter in the brain.

Don't you just hate it when you do everything in your power to look the best way you possibly can before discovering a zit the size of the China at the tip of your nose?

Speaking of which, it has come to my attention that my hair is losing its volumicity.. My hair, just like the owner has its own mood swings. My hair like the many celebrities who revert to starving themselves silly has decided to take on this unworldly trend. Thus, i am now shedding hair like a cancer patient. Yes, it is that bad. :( I mean, come on.. I always tell the truth.. even when i lie.. hah!

Picture this..
Step 1: Hold an egg upside down

Step 2: Draw a thick black line around the perimeter of the top of the egg

Step 3: Picture my face on the egg

Ta da.. That is how my hair looks now. Terrible ain't it..
Oh well, should be happy to at least have a head of hair.. beats these anyday.. :)

- The best of two worlds..

By the way, that's Koko the gorilla :)

Monday, October 24, 2005

"The test of literature is, I suppose, whether we ourselves live more intensely for the reading of it." - Elizabeth Drew

Time and again i tell myself..
"Thou shalt not blog!!"
Next thing you know, here i am, devoting my precious, inexplainably wonderful sleep to the world of blogging. Not that its that early in the morning, its 1015am, the sun is up and all.. but in my defence, i had a very late night. haha

Time and again i tell myself..
"Thou shalt not succumb to the norms!!"
Next thing you know, here i am, trying my best to make my blog look or at least seem interesting. Every Tom, Dick and Harry has a bleeding blog and now, Van Ren has one too. :) Blogs are like little windows to one's soul. Reading blog is like taking a peek into a little window a blogger has left slightly adjacent to the prying eye. Who needs a friend who is willing to lend an ear when you're able to blog about anything? The internet or at least the blog website will never get sick of you.. hehe I'm not saying i don't appreciate my friends.. but it kinda gets the mind working, right?

To all my friends, I Love you Guys!! <-- i hope that makes up for the previous paragraph :)

Time and again i tell myself..
"If you want to earn the big bucks and make it big in life, study study study.. "
Next thing you know, i'm doing everything in my power to avoid my books. The news is suddenly indispecably interesting, literature is suddenly understandable and writing blogs has suddenly taken a new lease in life. Okay fine, not yours maybe.. mine.. maybe. :)

Time and again i tell myself..
"Why do i keep doing this to myself??"
Isssshhh.. i'm hopeless... :)

P.S. this is probably a futile attempt at trying to blog, but heck, hope it entertained your sorry ass for a good minute :)