Dota 101 - from one noob to another

Curiousity has finally taken over.. how does anyone in their right mind spend 10 freaking hours playing the same computer game? Well, to be fair, it takes on a certain edge of admiration towards these BRAVE men on my part...

After a very vague, pointless, 10 minute, half-past-six lesson on dota from my dota-obsessed brother i am now able to look at dota from a whole new perspective. Dota is not anymore just another time-and-money wasting-butt enlarging-finger muscle building-eye spoiling sport.

Dota is now a computer game. A game which requires actual brain power. A game which stresses you out. A game which could easily make the biggest-toughest-fiercest but dota-ly handicapped chap go weak in the knees and wince like a monkey... :)

Here is a brief overview
Step 1: Choose hero (in my context, look for the most "gaya" looking character.. Who cares if the hero is difficult to manage? who cares if it's one of the weaker heroes?)

Step2: Buy itenaries - don't know what to buy? Well, if you chose a character who's powers are based on intelligence, buy items which would help boost the hero's intelligence. Still blur? Tap the guy next to you if you're in a cafe.. i usually tap my brother's shoulder. Make sure to dodge as fast as possible as soon as you catch a glimpse of his/her arm nearing anywhere your face.

Step 3: Look for enemies to kill. - Don't know which is friend and which is foe? Kill it anyway.

Step 4: Make way to the enemy's base

Step 5: Destroy base
Warning: Its not as easy as it sounds

Step 6: Scream for joy you've won!!

- To all the noobs, Ignore Step 3 onwards. All you have to do is try to stay alive.. and occasionally kill vicious or enemy looking characters.

If all fails, scream, jump, cry, curse, bang your fists on the table (be sure to avoid the mouse and the keyboard in the process). Basically, do whatever that helps in dealing with the pain of being owned. It wouldn't help you win but it would definitely help in decreasing death-by-dota tendencies. Believe me.. I've tried it, It Works! :)

Definitely an easy game to play, but to some, including myself.. extemely difficult to master.