Musings

Heart of Steel

2011-05-31T12:44:00.000-07:00

He strikes hard as his sword 'clinks' against his heavy armour. A mixture of bloodsweattearsmightandanger. He battles on - every last feint of strength soaring through his veins.

His legs weary. His stomach gripping. His lips parched.
Night and day. No rest for the wanted. No rest for the weak.

Suddenly, a gush of blood stains the sand below his feet. A soaring pain shoots across his belly like a saw to a tree. Like waking up before the ending of a happy dream. Like losing a 100m race by a millisecond.

He turns around and falls to the ground only to catch a glimpse of his prosecutor. He fought hard to resist only to fall and catch his last breath.

Twas the end of his 50 year reign. His body is weak but his mind is gold.

Nervosa

2011-02-24T08:24:00.000-08:00

She looked in the mirror and proceedes to turn away from the mere shame and disregard for herself and her flesh and blood. Tears streamed incessantly. Mind spaced out and foggy. Her abdomen - cramped with hunger.

To her, an imperfect body reflects an imperfect person. Perfection in her eyes was an imperfection of the norm. Bones framed her tiny build. Slight, some people might say. She looks out of the window. The cold, damp weather - unkind and overbearing. Like the torrentious draft of wind that shudders her down to the bone.

Tired and weary. Emaciated and Pulverised.

10 years passed. Slowly.
The battle was gradually and then suddenly lifted. Like a sharp piercing bolt of light through the darkest nights.

It finally occured to her.

As the facade she clung onto wittled away, she gathered steam and reached out for help.
All that's left now is a scarred face..

Maybe..

2011-02-19T06:23:00.000-08:00

He spoke and looked back into his exorbitant, unconscionable past only to recover the inexplicable ways of torment and gross surreality. His mind loose and weary from that final anticipatory hit. Brown, his friends called it. He clenches his fist and holds his head in his hand, hard.

Across, a mere acquaintance captivated and stunned with empathy and compassion. Bleeding into the fixation of these horrifying events. Events, un-erasable, brutal to say the least. His stepfather.

Young as he was, threatened to silence.

Maybe his mother was to blame in all of this. Maybe his father should have stuck by. Maybe his brother deserved less to never have left home. Maybe his guts failed him when it mattered the most.

Maybe he was just a number in all of this and time was up. Destiny had been unfair to him.

He cracked and tore himself up. Memories of unprecedented neglect and deprivation. Feeble in pride. Unfortunately, too proud at heart. A huge bump in the road will slowly be mended. Therapy and de-abandonment for shovels and sticks. A spark of faith.

The battle, not won yet but is due, in time.
The words 'candor dat viribus alas' echoed in his head.

Sincerity gives wings to strength.. Strength gives wings to courage.

Lose the number.

The Revival

2008-05-12T07:44:00.000-07:00

Oh my gosh! It's been ages since i last visited my blog and even longer than ages since i last published anything on it.. i feel sorry for my blog.. and for my little pet monkey hanging around the page..haven't even fed him in a year..

Anyhoos, i'm going to try and revive my blog by publishing at least 2 entries a month.. see.. so realistic! haha My blog has been dead for such a long time i don't even know if anyone visits my blog anymore.. sad but true..

Over the past year, i..
1) have had multiple panic attacks from the previous exam
2) had a fungal infection behind and at the sides of both my knees
3) shivered my ass off during winter
4) bought a bicycle, used it 3 times, kept it for 6 months and finally got Andrew to sell it off
5) went to Amsterdam.. haha.
6) rode the Nottingham Eye (yep it's the Nottingham version of the London Eye, it's probably 10 times smaller)
7) went to Singapore.. again..:)
8) met a whole lot of new friends :)
9) joined the gym to increase my fitness levels
10) developed this irritating patch of pimples on my forehead
11) learnt that life is spiraling towards a monotonous black boring hole
12) realised that my true ambition is to marry a rich man, work at the hospital part time and the rest of the time, do nothing but shop and meet up with my friends.
13) lost my favourite and v expensive watch.. sigh..
14) drove over a white kitten in the highway.. ( it appeared out of nowhere..it has been a year ago and i still am reminded of it till now :( )
15) became older.. sigh

One would expect to have done more than that over the course of the year.. but heck my memory is that of a goldfish.. I'm proud of myself for remembering all of that :)

2007-01-13T02:14:00.000-08:00

Someone once told me, to believe is to succeed and to lose hope is to be no less than alive for which given any day, a person as hopeless as he may be would not be living at all. Beliefs should always come with wishes almost impossible to achieve, almost unicorn-like. Hence, cashing in believes so surreal would only curb great beginnings and hope for even better and unbelievable things to happen.

Someone once told me, beauty should always be appreciated as thorough as a piece of chocolate. A chocolate too precious to give up to indulgence yet too alluring to be left alone. Truth be told, beauty very significantly plays a role in our lives, be it an exquisite diamond cut so extreme in it's beauty, people only gage at it's very existence, or, wine so fine in it's taste, it graces hopes of poverished vinery owners ever-so-instantly.

Someone once told me, life is always what you make it to be. Like I always say, what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger. Good things are always in front you, it just depends on how your read the picture. They pour upon you like sweet-nothings or fade like flowers in autumn. Materialistically or not.
Walk, skip and dance through life. Be, if not fully, mostly contented with what has been engraved in your circle of life. Although minute flaws creep up on you like disgusting little bugs you'd spend a lifetime contending, or, nails or pebblestones that worship ur feet when you've lost your shoes (haha.. where did THAT come from.. :)), you'd most certainly be able to label your life - perfect. :)

That someone is my subconscious.
Have you got one doing you right?

On another note,
Am coming back early February...

:)

Welcome me!! :)

Currently listening to: Sade

2006-12-11T01:59:00.000-08:00

I want to scream.
I want to shout ravishingly uncensored ravaging porous words without thought and rationality. I want to desperately feed your soul of unrevolving plundering, hurt, sorrow and digustingly acceptable gibberish. I want to metamorphosise rocks into sand. I want to shout so hard, i would profanitise the little lamb song.

I want to be so rude, i strive to see myself in the mirror.
I want to erase the fact that rudeness is an incredibly weak and pityful man's attempt at showing mere strength and power. i want to see screaming and shouting as an antidote to incredible desperate attempts of liberation. I want to suck the life out of little scratch wounds. I want to dig at it and strangulate, every single strand of muscle.

I want to be silent.
Silence only breaks A person. Suicidal acts cure a person. And breaks them. Literally.

I want to ignore.
Ignorance is bliss.

p.s. I'm not bitter.. :)

Hair tips

2006-12-01T16:04:00.000-08:00

HAIR TIPS

Lesson 1: Always make time for narcisism.. you'd be able to decide which hairstyle suits u best with loads of pictures...

This was how my hair looked in Jan 06

Lesson 2: Take pride in styling your hair.. :)

In May, Man.. i've never been so proud of my hair.. *tear tear..haha

Lesson 3: Never go to the hair stylist and say "CUT".. do elaborate... :)

Then it grew long and i had it cut it again..
This time it was really really short, at the top especially.. if u look at the pic carefully you'll be able to see the short spikes at the top of my head

Lesson 4: Always look at the mirror before coming out of the house.. (I styled my hair in the car, i think.. i dunno how i let myself out of the house with such messy hair... the picture below is the best picture i could find of my hair.. only the fringe shows.. tee hee hee)

This is how my hair looked before i left to the UK.. the girl on my right is some brazilian (i think) model.. :)

And.................

Lesson 5: Read magazines on hair tips cause if you're actually abiding by my suggestions, you really do have hair problems..

This is how my hair looks at present time..
The colour effect the camera gives out is kinda cool.. The blonde-ish part used to be RED.. at present, my fringe is annoyingly long.. so much so i never leave my room without my trusty hairband or a bunch of clips.. and the short (or long) hair tickles the back of my neck CONSTANTLY.. damn irritating

Damn i need a haircut..

LEsson 6: If all else fails, contemplate on shaving ur head, or just learn to deal with not caring about how u look..

I found this picture on someone's friendster page a couple of weeks back and i really like the pic.. so here's a pic of the wonderful imu bunch for all time's sake.. :)

2006-11-28T15:57:00.000-08:00

Hello peeps!

It's been a long long long time since i last posted anything up..
I just completed my practical examination today and am in no mood to study.. figured i should make use of my time and put up something to entertain u guys.. :)
(esp the ppl flooding my flooblebox.. :))

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I've been sitting here for a good 5 minutes, staring at a blank screen wondering what i could possibly write about. For all the people who constantly (okay, fine, maybe a lot seldom now.. :)) check my blog to see if i posted anything new, you might have noticed that there hasn't been ANY updates for God knows how long.. hmmm.. I don't know if i'm suffering from some major blogger's block. I don't know if i'm just plain lazy. I don't know if i'm afraid of displaying my array of horrendous-nonsensical-disastrous-imcomprehendable-made-for-dumb-blondes-devastatingly terrible english. Honestly, i really don't know if it's me but my english, has just gone completely rubbish. I struggle to get words like "fix" or "strenous" out.. Can you believe it? My command in english is supposed to be expanding and improving now that i'm in the UK..

so anyway, i was talking to a couple of friends the other day what i've come to realise is that, not many people actually get down to read and understand what ever you have to blog about. Apparently blogs are mainly about the pictures and of course PRETTY people.

I'm going to succumb to my assumption and speculation and start posting random pictures.

Here goes.. well, i'll talk you through it so it's not just random pics.. :)

Egg Tart and I this picture was taken in manchester.. for the rest, go to kecohppl.blogspot.com.. :)

Moving on..
Here are some pics from London..
Andrew, being the sweet guy he is took me to London..
or, come to think of it, i was the sweet person .. I self-willingly accompanied him to London.. haha..
So anyway.. more pics..

Andrew and his friends at a birthday gathering.. i'm sorry can't remember the name of the restaurant.. am not going to try name the people in the pic cause i can't very well do so.. haha..
ok ok.. i'll try.. L to R Wen Yen, Pei Shuen (er.. i dnt think that's right.. Andrew, a little help here.. , Samuel, Samuel's friend, Samuel's brother(the guy far far back with the tinted glasses), Yih Yong, JUstin and Andrew..

...

Wui Seng and i.. yep yep.. you Sri KL ppl.. still remember him? haha

L to R: Wen Yen, Wui Seng, Andrew:), Justin, Wei Shen, Yih Yong, Samuel and a girl

Andrew and Sophia

We went to Krispy Kreme at Harrods and had donuts which are to-die-for..

i only have pictures of the cups and the signs.. haha..

We went to starbucks and had ice-blended drinks.. it comes up to about RM35 a drink..
yep yep..

as you might have noticed, i might have lost my posing skills.. haha

Looked at the verywell known red double decker english buses

shopped..
watched a musical titled Chicage

and went to CNR for Malaysian foood...

Am too lazy to put up the pics from the previous pub crawl... not that i was sprawled-on-the-floor drunk or anything.. i'm just too damn lazy at the moment.. dealing with pictures really IS hard work.. I really can't imagine how people who i might add are very hardworking actually bother enough to photoshop pictures...

hmmm...

Till the next post.. ta ta.. :)

2006-08-28T02:10:00.000-07:00

G'day!

This is my first post from the land of constant drizzles, unpredictable weather and thick accents.. :)

I left KLIA at 1155pm on the 24th of August.. It was kinda pathetic cause only Kah Heng and Lina was there to send me off.. But honestly, i really didnt mind. Kah Heng (so sweet of him) dedicated a very nice post to me.

When i got into the plane, i noticed that someone was seated on the seat allocated to me..
Turns out, there was some Thai (or at least i thought it was) guy seated on my seat.
I called the steward and as it turns out, there was some problem with the ticketing.. hehe.. They allocated both of us on to the same seat.
And since he was seated, i smiled at the steward and said, "Look the guy's so comfortably seated there with his family, so why dont you upgrade me instead.. hehe"
The steward, "Hmmm, i'll see what i can do.. "

So he walks off looking for the guy in charge of the tickets..
The guy in charge of the tickets frantically looked around the economy seats looking for an extra seat.
After everyone was seated, and i mean EVERYONE, (as if the plane was just about to take off) the guy was still no where to be found.
I felt kinda silly standing in the middle of nowhere whilst obstructing the way, everyone was giving weird-ass stares.

5 mins later the guy came back and got me to go to seat 9A.

YES LA!!
hahaha..
i made my way upstairs.. and wa lah!!!

3 COURSE MEALS!!
very nice STEWARDS and AIR HOSTESSES
LOVELY BIG ASS SEATS!!
it allows you to recline the seats so much it's almost horizontal.. and yeah, i slept like a baby!! I could definitely get used to this!! hehe woo hoo!!

SO anyway, here are a few pics i took from Heathrow Airport..

This Kid's so cute.. he fell asleep with half a muffin on his hand. hehe
(Thank goodness his mom didn't realise i was taking a picture of her sleeping son) :)

My luggages..

THe view from where i was standing, waiting for my bus to Leicester.. :)

Here are some pictures of my pathetically small hole. . eheh

My desk, if you look closely enough, there's an apple next to my bag.. It fell into the dustbin as i was arranging my stuff.. Now i dont know whether the eat it or not.. hmmm..

And the carton of ciggies, far right is not mine..

The sink in my room.. (comes in quite convenient)

My bed.. the sun rises at 6 in the morning and i keep forgetting to shut the curtains.. so, i'm usually up quite early..

The view from the pavement just outside the apartment..

2006-08-17T19:56:00.000-07:00

since your picture wasn't in the previous post,

THIS POST IS DEDICATED TO ET!!

EAT AT SHOGUN!!

YUM!!

Happy or not?? hahaha..

2006-07-17T23:11:00.000-07:00

RAWR!!!!

There's so much i want and wanted to blog about i'm actually feeling very lazy to type ... If only i had a robot to type as i verbally relay my thoughts to it.. I guess if that point of time actually crosses our path, we'd all be so lazy and inactive we'd probably start missing the times we could walk.
It's the third day of EOS5 and my head feels like it's 100000000000000000000000 tonnes partly due to the lack of sleep and partly due to the fact that my brain has been put into overdrive the past 3 days... :S

So, yeah, well, here are some pictures from my birthday, almost a month ago.. It's kinda sad that it had to be before the freaking exams. Sigh...

Well, it started with the IMU gang surprising me at 11pm on the day before, everyone looked bloody stressed out... it ranged from pimple sprouting faces to panda eyed looks to balding heads..

Michelle, Ling Wei, Racine, Marilyn, Amelia, Yon Xian, Brandon, Kah Heng, Bryan and Me!

....... and Lina

Since Ah Moooo's hidden in both of the pics, here's a special close up of her.. hhahaha

29th of June 2006
- Had lunch with me Sri KL buddies..

Nick Y. and Jamie..

Nick L....

Who happened to all have the same phone..
( I'm sorry eng tat.. i don't exactly know how to rotate your japanese food entising picture.. )

530pm - Blowing my own cake... alone... (How fun!! ) haha

Okay... So here are some pictures from the Press Conference @ Planet Hollywood on the 4th of July 2006...

Left my house at 745 to make allowances for the crazy traffic KL has to offer, took the LRT from PJ and got to KL at about 9..

Yes 9! and apparently, that's FAST!

If you ask me, the transportation system in Malaysia is just ridiculous!! They should make spped shuttles, limit the use of cars or maybe offer air services.. haaha...

So anyway, at 930am, we went to hair connections along Jalan Bukit Bintang for hair and make up..

One of the hair stylists.. i'm sorry i don't remember his name..

...ditto...

.. double ditto..

Hair and Make up artists at work...

Chantelle and I

Charmaine and I

Adeline, Miss Malaysia World 2006!!! and I

Natalie, Nivitha, Sarina, Amanda, Adeline

Honey

More hairdressing action..

As with all shows and whatever the entertainment industry anywhere around the world has to offer, there's always the loooooooong wait....
Hence, the crazy amnt of pics.. (Did not post it all here)
And for some reason, my picture which came out in the star on the 5th of July, made me look as if i was FAT!!! and i'm not just saying it..
You know how the saying goes right? That the camera puts on 10 pounds?? well it's true!! only in my case it's 20.. :|
I'll post that dumb picture up when i can... then you can compare...

The very very long haired, Pearly..

HOney and Amanda..

Amin, director of the project by day, crazy clubber by night.. *tsk tsk* (shall upload pics of him clubbing later.. )

Florence and JImmy of Hair Connections..

Me Make up artist for that day.. and damn, my hair looks B. A. D.!

Sarina, Stephanie, Pearly, Marina, Honey n Me!

My twin!
(people mix us up quite a bit)

OOoooh La la..

Miss Malaysia World 2006 photoshoot

2006-06-28T03:48:00.000-07:00

For all of you who already know, here are some pics.. :) enjoy..

For those who don't,
Yes.

Serious? Yep.
Stop laughing.. i couldn't believe it myself.
How i got in?

Basically, a wonderful friend of mine, AARON, decided that i should expand my horizon and give in to his crazy idea of joining the pageant. After 30 mins of trying to convince me to join, i said okay and next thing you know, they ask me to go in for an interview.

Apparently, round 1's where they shortlist the applicants based on their application form. I didn't fill that up, so i guess i bypassed that.

Round 2's the interview bit.
I dont know how i got through it. I panicked at the sight of 3 high authorians looking at me, blabbered, stuttered and crapped like no other. i was a complete mess.
Maybe they were amazed and possibly interested at my klutzy (or maybe even comical) ways?

So i went home, defeated. Didn't really hit me hard cause it was not something i've been praying every night of the week for anyway..

3 days later they called and told me i got the place as one of the Miss Malaysia World 06 finalists.

I did not almost fall off my chair. I did.

i don't know whether to be happy or sad.

EOS 5 and MMW

2 killers at one go.

it's like preparing to get shot in the head

TWICE.

So, anyhoos....

I'm too lazy to type and describe anything at the moment.
So here are the pictures..
Afterall, a picture is worth thousand words.. :)

Here are 16 pictures.
Add that to the amount of words above and you get a 16200 word blog.

and Yes i've possibly gone mad. haha :)

Me, Cassandra (former Miss Sabah (she kinda looks like Bree right?)) and Adeline

Nivitha getting her hair done

Shan Shan.. yeah i know, she's hot!

Make up artists at work..

Cassandra again, Honey Tan (in real life she looks a lot like Sarah Tan) and Adeline

Sarina (ex- commonwealth rhythmic gymnast champion), Honey and muah!

The hair dressing area

Pearly and me (JOn if you're reading this.. hahaha)

....

Honey again..

The hair dressing team and Pearly

The photographer, LO of Rom Studios.

Ditto.

The make up artists..

The FINALISTS

Randomness..

2006-05-29T20:50:00.000-07:00

Was talking to Racine during lectures the other day. haha.. it's no surprise that i AM indeed talking in lectures.. albeit, less than half the ppl in the lecture hall actually gives UNDIVIDED attention to the lecturer anyway... :)

So moving on, we were chatting about other weird things girls normally talk about when somehow, someway, we came upon talking about Cute Boys vs. Guys with Style..

As it turns out, we both picked the latter.
I know, i know, most people, (my brother included) are on the impression that people who are good looking would definitely be able to pull off anything whether it's just the typical t shirt and jeans ensemble or the trendy 'pasar malam' looking t-shirt-short pants-slippers combination.

I say, NO NO NO!!

Can you imagine this potential hottie appearing in front of you in what looks like pajamas, or maybe, some futuristic metal looking kick ass gear or just the plain rag-tagged clothes, hopelessly beyond help, genuine or not? Any girl (or guy) would undoubtfully be so turned off, they might have to look the other way to prevent consumed food from reverse peristalsis-ing it's way up the wrong end. then again, she could just be looking away because she just feels too damn embarrased for him or she might have just wanted to hold back uncontrollable laughter.

See, guys who have their own sense of style know when to dress up and when to appear unsightly.. (i.e. when entering a gay bar or places you just don't want to be recognizable)

I on the other hand am weird in a way where i'm attracted to the weirdest things.

First, there's the thick black plastic-ky looking spectacles. Yes, i don't know why, but i, strangely enough am quite attracted to GUYs who can pull off that look. Even I, don't know why i fall into such an incredulous category.
Next, there's the combination of cigarettes (is that how you spell it?) and perfume.. I'm drawn to it, like a sweet-toothed, pink-faced chubby little kids to a candy shop. And no, it's not just any cigarette yet is it just any perfume.. it has to be of a particular brand and type. And yes, i AM that weird. I guess no matter where you go and what you do, there will always be unexplainable confines in your head you just cannot make sense off.

Then there also, the button down shirt and jeans look. I am on the impression that a button down shirts makes a guy look at least 3 times better than usual. And yes, i go to IMU. The place where every Tom, Dick, and Harry dresses in formal clothes to get their butt to IMU daily. So yeah, i guess, well, to me at least.. every guy looks better when in the torture zone.. IMU.

It's kinda silly, though this IMU place. 1st, it tortures potential doctors, then it provides you with extreme smelling toilets (believe me it can go from one extreme to another).. now, it numbs my attraction towards button down shirted guys. They should throw that rule away. If men can rule and run the world, why can't they stop wearing ties? If professionalism is depicted by it, strange as it may sound, is intelligence waking up every morning to tie a piece of cloth around your neck?

You tell me..

2006-05-06T03:35:00.000-07:00

6th May 2006

8 a.m. - Woke up, dragged my sorry ass out of bed and headed for the shower. Got dressed, had breakfast, read the newspaper and headed for the one the hotels in PJ for a runway show.

920am - Wanted to do the typical malaysian thing and arrive 1 hour after i was supposed to but i decided to play safe and be just 20 mins late. :) The minute i got there they got me to change into the first attire. It's a very strange looking blue top with a white knee length pants and a coat. I think the designer actually wanted to mimic the typical 18th century english men get up.

Imagine me in that.
That was how silly i looked.
Felt as if i just fell out of the french colonial revolution.

So anyway, we, the whole team of designers and models, had a practise run. Took us 2 hours for everything to be done. There were 15 models and about 45 designers. Each designer were asked to design 3 sets of clothing. So yes, there were a whole shit load of clothings.
Racks and racks... and racks ....and racks..

Basically all i was required to do is
1) walk the runway
2) pose
3) clap hands when designer shows after us
4) go backstage and undress FAST inthe middle of nowhere.... literally.
5) all that's happening backstage is utter chaos, 5 ppl will be working on you and all you can do is just try your best to maintain balance as you wear everything simultaneously..
one person will be helping you with the stocking and the shoes
one person will help you with your top
one person will help you with the bottom
one person's helping you with the hair and whatever that's supposed to go on your head
another person's helping you with the accessories. (my right ear still feels a little sore with all the changing of the heavy heavy earrings)
6) as soon as everything's on you, or most of it at least... you run out to do the catwalk..
it's crazy.

IT'S CRAZY!

1pm - we head off to a room across the hall to sit around, eat and allow make up artists to paint our faces. YES, paint. Reason why is that with the amount of make up they put on your face you could press your face on a piece of paper, peel it off and keep it as a picture portrait or yourself.. and even if you show it to your friends, they would be dazzled at how real the picture looks. they'll be begging you to let them know how you made it look so realistic.

Anyway, the make up artist who worked on me did a really CRAPPY job. I got up looked in the mirror and almost collapsed at how ugly she made look. I'm not the prettiest girl on earth but i always had the impression that make up is supposed to minimise the flaws and make you look better. After getting off the chair, i had to really force a smile onto her and walk away. Didn;t want to be the difficult model.

Ugh.

This was how bad it was. I had to fake being engrossed in some stupid magazine just so that i could bury my face into something so deep, no one would recognize me. The eye shadow she put just under eyes made me look like a had eye bags the size of mount kinabalu. The lipstick she put on me was so red all you could see on me were my lips. Maybe that was what she was intending to do, it's to draw as much attention away from the mountain looking eyes. Even the different coloured foundation she put on me was obviously not blended in together AT ALL. the list just goes on and on... aaaarrrggghhhhhhhh

JUst thinking of it makes me want to scream at her to quit her job. Should have done it, so as to not torment future models under her care..

Ugh...
aaarrrrgggghhh!!!

NO one did anything to my hair.
There was nothing anyone could do.
Thank bloody goodness.

2pm - Headed to the room at the backstage area to get changed.

Stupid zip from my pants decide it break.

More things to stress over. HAd to hope for pants to NOT fall off and could not sit down cause doing so would move the temporarily 'zipped' area out of place.

With the typical malaysian timing, nothing started on time. So there i was, standing around because i couldn't sit, starting to feels the aches because i had heels on, getting very irritated because i had to wait and almost suffocating cause there were just too damn many ppl in the very small room.

I tell you, modelling IS NOT fun.

Some of the outfits required very heavy objects hanging from my hair.
MOdelling makes you bald.

Some of the outfits squeezed the bejesus out of you.
MOdelling makes you suffocate.

Some of the outfits are so loose you begin to wonder if the designers were designing it for pregnant women.
Modelling makes you confused.

In anyways, admidst all the flaws and crazy looking clothes the whole thing had to offer, it was quite an experience for me.

Some of the clothes designed were really one of a kind and ingeniously crafted to look stunning.

After running in and out, slipping crazy looking clothes in and out, 9 sets i think.

Oh yeah, and each designer wanted a different mood to go with the clothes. I jsut discovered that my face HAS a mind of its own cause after 5 chnges, my face got so confused that after a while half of my face was trying to look arrogant while the other half was trying to look happy.
REally.
I'm not kidding.. haha

Slightly after 2 hours, the show was finally over.
Really swt..

530pm - Got home and died. Blardee tired i tell you...

If and when i get the pictures, i'll post them up.
Till then, adious.

Pictures from Luna

2006-04-29T02:52:00.000-07:00

Luna's the place to be.. :)

Am too lazy to write an introduction or a paragraph based on our little luna outing so i'm going to just jump right into the photos.. :)

Have fun viewing them..

Oh yeah, there was this supposed tube and jeans dress code for the girls. For those of you who complied, Yeah Baby.. and as for those of you who didn't, i hope you had a good explanation.. :)

Sheng Kai, Brandon, Yih Seng, Gowri and Marilyn..

Ah moooooooo..., Racine and the beautiful Ling Wel

I love this picture.. :) everyone looks so happy!! haha

Ling Wei, Racine and Marilyn..

Amelia looking hot, Ling Wei and Chris

Racine and Marilyn.. :)

Here we are, trying to pull of the angry + serious look

Amelia, as always Aced it
Racine, ..... er... hahaha.. practice makes perfect.. hehe
Marilyn, way to go sista!
Me? I don't know but i do think i look very bitter.. haha

Racine and Marilyn staging some dramatic shower cubicle action.. ;)

More toilet nonsense

I love this photo.. haha..
KUdos to Kah Heng and Marilyn.. :)

Haha.. Sheng Kai totally fail.. haha

2006-04-16T04:28:00.000-07:00

We just had our Musculoskeletal System assessment test 2 days ago.

Everything i've tried to remember in a span of 5 days has flown out of my head.

I can't very well remember a quarter of whatever i've studied.

Ugh.. How am i gonna get by the End of Semester 5 exam?

.......................

Such a depressing topic..

......................................................................................................................................................

So anyway, moving on to greener pasteurs,

A little more than a month ago, i was asked to do some modelling stint for a group of UiTM students (fuh yuh!) haha.. Damn i was excited.. :0

the funny thing about it was that i didn't exactly give them the green light.. All i said was that i was keen and that i would get back to them..

2 weeks later she calls me and asks me for my vital stats and my wt and my height and all..

I figured it was only for a day so i just agreed to it..

So, i sent her all the measurements through sms..
Vital stats: *1-*2-*3
Height: *4
Weight: *5

10 mins later, she calls back..

Lady: Hello..

Me: Hie!

Lady: Hey you forgot to give me your shoe size..

Me: oh, its *6

Lady: okay, so are you reALLy *4?? Are you really that tall? You don't look like it..

Me: (starting to doubt myself..) er.. yeah.. i AM *4 (I mean, why in the world would i lie about it?? )

Lady: Erm... o..kay... (in a very forced manner)

Me: ??!??

If that wasn't enough..

Lady: So yeah, i'm looking at your vital stats now.. Erm.. *1 only arh??

Me: ?!?!?!?!?!!? (x infinite)
: erm.. i'm sorry?

(WHAT-THE-HELL??!) Really, what is this woman's problem? I know i'm not very gifted in that area.. and in addition to that i've got quite a narrow frame.. hehe but she HAD to go rub it in.. hahaha

Lady: Are you sure? So small arh?

Me: (What the?!?!?)
: Well, i'm sorry for not being well-endowed? (!?!!?!??!??!?!?!?!?!?)

Lady: HAHhahaha (the woman DARES to laugh... ) hahaaha.. (i could almost hear the echo of her laughter sounding.. even 5 mins after she stopped.. ) hahaahhahaha .. okay okay..

Me: (*sniff*) (still listening to the echo of her monstrous laugh..)

Lady: (still in the midst of laughter) So anyway, practise your catwalk everyday ya.. haha.. giggle.. this that.. face expression.. bla bla bla..

Me: Oh okay.. (aiyah no need la... God given talent.. hahaha j/k)

After about another 5 mins of lecturing me about my catwalk she decides to bid goodbye..

Lady: and yeah.. bring your push-ups.. ( I tell you, this woman really has the nerve la.. )

Me: Yes i will.

Lady: Okay then.. see ya..

Me: Goodbye.. !! :) (thank goodness.. ) (the laughing echo continues.. )

She puts down the phone, i put down the phone..... How demoralizing..

And the woman's from a bloody advertising agency.. HOw in the world did she get her job?? I need to question the relevance of such..

Oh well, you meet ppl from all walks of life..

___________________________________________________________________

"I am still determined to be cheerful and happy, in whatever situation i may be; for i have also learnt from experience that the greater part of our happiness or misery depends on our dispositions, and not upon our circumstances" - Marsha Washington

Ball pics

2006-04-06T20:03:00.000-07:00

I'm too lazy to type anything at the moment.

After 4 months of slaving for the Ball it comes down to this.
1) Dressing up
2) Eating
3) Witnessing some rather cool dances and super COOL VIDEOS..
4) Taking 1 thrillion pictures
5) Going home..

Is the ball really worth all that?

I really don't know.

Anyway, here are some of the pics i have of the ball..

This is the only picture i have of everyone.. So, wa lah!! :)
(Frm top left, clockwise: Racine, Lina, Me, Esther, Marilyn, Ling Wei, Jean, Gowri, Michelle, Jebbrine, Stephanie, Amelia)

It's taking forever to load the pictures it's getting really irritating... hmmm...

Am just gonna load the pics i have of a group of people..

Kim, Hema and Mohana..

L -> R : Rima (the co-MC for the night), Emily, Me and Amy

From left to right: Someone's arm, Sheng Kai, Me (looking like i'm just about to curse) , Zhao Kang and Marilyn

JinYeng and Michelle

Kah Heng and the beautiful Esther

2006-03-08T10:13:00.000-08:00

What the hell is ftw?????

These 3 musketeers came up with this weird abbreviation..

Chia MIng: ah lians ftw.
Tim: You are officially an ah lian. la la ftw
Void: ah lians ftw... bla bla

I mean, what the hell is that? "Funky Teacher's Wing"? "Fantastic Toddler's Wish?" "Fascinating Transvestite Wins?" hahaha.. Some stupid dota nonsense? Does the word ah lian come in corelation with ftw? WHAT in the world is that? aarrgghh...

I bet upon reading this, the 3 of you are laughing so hard you're trying to grip your asses to avoid from shitting in your pants.

I honestly can't help the fact that i'm wearing that.. So does that mean, the morphology of ah lians are depicted in the way they dress?
I sure hope so..
I'm definitely no ah lian and i'm gonna keep it at that!!

hmmm.. does anyone know what ftw is? pls tell me if you do!! :)

Anyway, here's another pic that could possibly compensate for the previous one.. even if it doesn't pls say it does.. :)

Donate blood I must not...

2006-03-08T06:37:00.000-08:00

... Oh but YOU.. yes.. YOU there.. reading my blog.. MUST INDEED donate BLOOD!!!

Our country is in DIRE need of BLOOD so, no excuses.. there's no such thing as I've got no time (it only takes a maximum of 20 mins!), don't say that you're not good with needles sticking out of your hand (*****, you know i'm refering to you.. :) tee hee hee :)), don't say that you're tired, don't say that you're dog is sick, and above all don't say you're HIV +ve.. unless you really are.. hehe.. So, if you're bored and you've got nothing to do, DOOOONNNAAATTEEE!!!

Well, here's my story in relation to the whole blood donating speech i just imparted onto you..

But first.. After having read the story that follows, You have to promise not to laugh or probe me with it..

OKay, here goes....

Ahem...

Yesterday, being the wonderful daughter that i am, i accompanied my mom to the hospital for her regular check up..
Her regular check up involves many many many many steps.

I don't know what kinda management this hospital has to offer, but whatever it is, make sure you keep the whole freaking day open if you intend to see any of the doctors there..
Seriously, they'll make you wait till you have grandchildren..

So anyway, moving along, after having collected some weird form from the 7th floor, we proceeded to the 3rd floor (Haematology section) for my mom to undergo this particular blood test. (for you medical students, it's the Prothrombin time)

While we sat there patiently waiting for her turn she announced that this regular check up of hers takes a minimum of 3 hours..

i was like "HHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRR?????!!! pppppfffffffttttttt...What THE??!?!?? what in the world am i going to do for 3 freaking HOURS??? and even more so when its a MINIMUM of 3 hours.... aaaaaaaarrrrggggghhhhhhh How could i not have known??!?!?!? It's a bloody MALAYSIAN hospital.. Grrrr... "

okay okay.. You got me there.. I'm not that mean lah.. The whole monologue earlier was staged in my head.. I'm not that mean.. :)
All i managed to get out of me after having heard that is was gonna take 3 hours is "Oh really?? Hmmm.. okay... :) no worries.. :))

At that, i leaned back looked to my left and what did i see?? The BLOOD BANK!!

And i figured, hmmm...a good way to rid myself of boredom.. i shall be a good samaritan and donate some blood.. :)

So, after having shocked my mom with my impulsive nature, i headed to the desk to fill up a form.. Later, i got my blood type tested and wa lah.. i was good to go.. :)

10 mins later there i was lying on the lazy-chair-looking couch looking at the nurse poke my arms in search for a prominent vein.. and when i say poke i meant poke using the needles.. yes, OUCH it was!!

It took me 3-4 mins to fill the whole bag of blood.. (350 ml, i think)

As the nurse came to retract the humongous needle from my arm, i decided to call my friend, Aaron (who is chicken enough to not want to contribute some of his blood to society.. tsk tsk.. :)) back.. was kinda lazy to reply his text messages further..

There i was sitting there.. happily talking to him.. when i suddenly felt damn light headed.. i thought it was only temporary so i completely i ignored it.. Then the nurse came and asked me to proceed towards the waiting area..

So i got to my feet and suddenly felt like a was floating..
If that wasnt enough, i figured the waiting room's only 20 steps away and that i could make that so i 'walked on air' and headed towards the waiting room..

Mind you, amidst all this i was still talking on the phone..

1st step..
2nd step..
3rd step.. Screamed "OH SHIT" and poof!! I dropped everything.. Frantically tried holding on to the edge of e bed.. in which i failed.. Fell to the floor... I was so weak i had trouble sitting. Upon hearing the noise of my possessions falling to the floor, the nurse starts running towards me shouting ARE YOU OK? ARE YOU OK?

Seriously, K.O-ed man..

Now i know how it feels to have severe postural hypotension.

Later the lovely nurse gave me some super sweet milo and got me to sit there for at least 15 mins before meeting up with my mom..

So much for a selfless deed.. hmmm..

2006-03-01T19:15:00.000-08:00

Its been exactly a week after having submitted my photos..

Still no call back... :(

*Sniff* *sniff*

Oh well, if i got the deal i would have shot up a little too quickly anyways.. hehehe..

Now, i have less things to worry about.. so its all good.. :)

Anyway, this is a picture from the photo shoot thing i did a couple of weeks back, just thought it'll give my blog some colour.. Getting quite boring.. hehehe :)

A little bit poser-ish but deal with it lah.. hahaha

THE Day

2006-02-17T02:18:00.000-08:00

17th February 2006

Got up bright and early

Got into the car

Drove to KL

Took a wrong turn

Found my way back

Found Plaza 138

Looked for the Andrews Models office.. it was like looking for a pencil in a hay stack (locatable but difficult.. :) )

Got in.

Sat down.

This guy in black comes over hands me an application form and a pen. "fill it up"

Filled the form up.. *begins to break in sweat*

Guy in blue comes over, "Thanks. :) Have you had any pass experiences?"

Me" Does doing a hairshow count?"

Guy in blue.. "hmmm.. you did a catwalk right?? Do you know the basics??"

Me " Not really.. "

Guy in blue calls... "Andrew, do you want to see her now or another day?? "

Guy in black shows up.. "what are your pass experiences?"
And yes the guy in black is ANdrew... Andrews models' andrew.. oh my God oh my god oh my God!!!!!!!"
Sweat pouring out...

Me" erm... erm.. I.. I... I did a a a hairshow for for for Toni and and and Guy.. *gulp*"

Me" and yes, that is all.. ugh.. he.. he.... " (Stressnya.. )

Andrew (looking a little impatient) " Can you catwalk for me? From that end to here.. "

Me "HUh?? !! here? now?"

Andrew " Yeah.. now.. (in a "fasterlah" gesture)"

Me (this time drowning in so much sweat i had to swim out of it) "errrr.. ok ok"

Before i even had the chance to prep myself, he goes on to say, "OK.. EVERYONE (as in EVERYONE in the office), she's gonna do a catwalk.. Watch her do a catwalk..."

Me (at an EXTREME lost for words) panicking till no extent... paddling through my pool of sweat.. "uughh" *gulp*

Believe me, i was so stressed out, walking was a bloody difficult task. Give me 2 left feet and 2 right feet, i would still have problems walking..
So anyway, i took like 5 steps front to where he stood and five steps back to where i started... i felt like he was there just evaluating every single step i made..
10 seconds later, i dont know what i did. I did THE walk. I don't know if i did it wrong. I bet a made a billion mistakes. I just ran through everything while i panicked like crazy... 5 seconds later, there i was believing i could have done better.. THAT was indeed the mood killer. :(

Getting angry with myself just thinking of it.. hmmm

Moving on..

Andrew, " OKay, they'll take your measurements. POinting to the guy in the blue shirt, erm.. he'll explain the rest.. I'm going off now.. see ya!!"

He was out the door.

I was bloody lost

This woman comes by and says, "let me take a fulll length picture of you."
* click* *Click*

2nd woman, "Let me take some measurements"
*measure* *measure*..

1st woman comes back, " Need close up pics now."
front, 45 degrees, 90 degrees on both side, sweet smile, no smile.... etc etc
*click* *click* *click* *click* ......... about 1000 times more..

Guy with blue shirt comes around, " we can't give you a contract right away.. have to evaluate the pics and all... experience, when you leaving... etc etc etc.. ya da ya da ya da... "

okay, now out the door you go....

We'll call you if anything.. and yah.. submit your pictures.. to me ... asap.. see ya..

That was the end of THE day..

I don't know if they're gonna call...
HOPE and pray they do..

*fingers crossed...*
*toes crossed..*
*arms crossed...*
*legs crossed..*
*body crossed.. * ouch ouch ouch... okay, maybe not...

Aaaaarrggghh... are the gonna call... or are they not??

damn this is nerve wrecking...

The Call..

2006-02-17T02:07:00.000-08:00

16th february 2006..

*ring ring*

Me, "Hello?"

Lady, " Hello, i'm calling from Andrews Models, one of our talent scouts gave us your number."

Me (and so the smiling begins.. yet again..), "OH yeah.. what's up? " (Pretend damn cool.. but in real fact, I happily jumping on my seat.. hahaha)

Lady, "Can you come in tomorrow, at 11pm?"

Me, "yeah!!! sure.. "

Lady, "See ya then.. "

Me, "see ya.. bye... :) !!!"

*click*

Me, stand up, got out of the car, did a little jig, got back into the car and went on driving..

" La la la lal la"

Who says Valentines Day is a day for lovers?

2006-02-17T01:26:00.000-08:00

14th February 2006

Was in 1 Utama doing some studio photo taking session don't ask me why, the 30-dollars per photo offer (what a rip off..haha) came about after having purchased some cosmetic products.

After a gruelling half an hour of hair and make up, i headed to the area where they took the photos.

Just before taking me picture, this fashion stylist, who decides what you wear on the shoot comes up to me, dresses me up with coats and one billion necklaces and asks, "Are you a model?"

Me, "No."

Wardrobe guy, "Why not?"

Me, "No chance. Haven't actually gotten down to submitting my application, i guess.."

Wardrobe guy, "Hmmm.. but do you want to?"

Me, "Hell, i want too!!"

Wardrobe guy, "i see... "

5 minutes later...

Wardrobe guy, " Hie.. I'm actually a talent scout for Andrews Models.."

Me ( in disbelief), "Say what??!!!"

Wardrobe guy, "Andrews Models... heard of it?"

Me, "YEah, OF COURSE.. " for those of you who haven't, click here

Wardrobe guy, " Okay then, Can i have your number? i'll send your number to the office and they'll call you.."

Me (smiling so hard, i swear, the corners of my mouth almost touched my ears) " Okay!!"

Wardrobe guy," HOld still.. let me take a picture of you.. :)"

I was bloody happy i tell you. Nevermind no flowers, nevermind no chocolates, nevermind no guy to spoil me.. Never-freaking-mind!!! i was happy.. that was enough to keep me happy for a good week.. Who says dateless people are the lonely-est on Valentines Day??? HA HA HA HA.. Life is indeed beeeeeaaaauuuuuuuuuuuuuuoooooooooottttttiiiiiiiiiiiiiiffffffffffuuuuuuuuuullllllll!!!

2006-02-05T19:21:00.000-08:00

Twas the end of the chinese new year holidays..

Gambling profits, 5 dollars..
Houses i've visited, 1..
Angpow collection, next to nothing..

Guess I'm not very much into the holiday spirit eh?

I think the decrease in enthusiasm comes with age. Well, in my opinion, that is. Holidays are still well appreciated but not as hullabaloolaly enjoyed. Back in the days, holidays were filled with excitement, ahh... the joys of just running around the house aimlessly.. that was enough to keep me happy for a good month.
Nowadays, running around the house would possibly mean that one is just plain psycho and in dire need of sttention.
Sad to say, most of the important things in life are nonchalant and only executed due to obligations.

Truth be told, life is certainly filled with ups and downs. But then again, it's kinda funny that when you actually sit down to think of something interesting to write, nothing actually comes into mind. Most things in life are better left unspoken, some due to obligations, some possibly in bid of not wanting to hurt another person's feelings and some in fear of misunderstandings.

Given a chance, i wouldn't change anything i've gone through in life. I know it sounds a little cliched or maybe a little corny. Everything in life is a lesson learnt. What i've learnt in the past year has made me a better person. And consequently, I think anyone and everyone should be all one can be, heck, you only live once and life IS short.
Dont take pride in the downfall or weakness of others it only exaggerats the fact that you're weak and disgustingly jealous.
Never waste your time stressing or getting worked up over small feuds. It doesn't take a casuist to see that, let alone back me up.

One should always admire and look out for the finer things in life.. Remember, It's always the little things that matter.. :)

So, for those of you who dont already appreciate life,
sit back, relax and enjoy you only live once..
*Cest la vie!! *

2006-01-31T08:05:00.000-08:00

"I believe one day we'll all wake up in a world where everything's the opposite from now...

The sun will one day rise from the west
Men will live underwater
Pants will be worn backwards.
Men will wear skirts (oh wait that is already happening.. )
A meal will be obtainable from a dosage of pills
Countries will be ruled by child prodigies
Education is pointless
Wars will be of norm
Men will marry men
Women will marry women
Grandfathers will be fathers to their grandchildren (eeew!)
Mothers will be sister to their daughters

And at the rate we're going,

Dogs will soon be able to produce human offsprings.
Surrogate mothers will not be needed ever again.
And soon enough, Child labour will be a taboo..

hmmm..."

*snaps back to reality*

After having read what i just wrote, i have to say, i'm rather delusional.
I think the holidays are driving me crazy.

Today, i got out of the house looked up into the sky and started laughing..
This is what the insides of the walls of your house does to you..

So anyway, I got into the car, a little blinded by an act of stupidity.. (Reminder to self, never look directly at sun.. it does no good to eyes) curled up in my seat and tried my best to "tahan" the shooting pain i felt eminating from my eyes to my head..

Half an hour later (15 minutes on the road and 15 minutes looking for a car park) we reached 1 Utama.. *LAAAAAaaa.. * (Clothes, Shoes, Bags, Eye Candy.. etc etc.. ) Civilization!! Woo hoo!!
Who would have thought.. I thought the fact that i was 1 U on the 3rd day of chinese new year was pathetic and sad but i was wrong.. 1U was bloody crowded..

I got in to the mall.. took the first escalator up and after having taken 3 steps..

*POOF*

there was complete darkness..
Is God trying to tell me something?
Am i not supposed to come out of my house?
or did 1 U just not pay their electricity bill?

the lights went off, emergency lights came on, people were swearing, children were crying, shoplifters were laughing, some of them working, sales people were stressing, i was just speechless.. I'm in awe at my horrid luck..

Later, i went to Nine West, spotted a pair of stilettos (which are to die for.. ) and what happens?? NO size... aaarrrgghhh...

Went to the old wing to buy some make up and what happens? TUTUP

S T U P I D!

That was it, i immediately headed home, disheartened, in distraught, extremely saddened, armed with no shopping bags what so ever..

I wonder what i tomorrow has installed for me..
I can almost picture myself getting hit by a car while attempting to escape from the dreaded walls my house has to offer..

:)

_________________________________________________________________

I did a little quiz just now..
For all the ppl in the world who hates the OC. You suck.
And yes, i confess i'm an OC junkie.
Hence the little test..

You are Marissa! Popularity is your label, but your

known for your mystery. You have the social

thing down but you need to work on your

out-of-control emotions. But who ever said it

was easy being Miss Popularity?

Which OC character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Sitting, Wishing and Waiting

2006-01-24T18:28:00.000-08:00

Am currently listening to Sade's Kiss of Life..

This is has led me to wonder, where's my perfect stranger? Who's it gonna be and heck, are you even out there?
Who's gonna give me the Kiss of Life? (and no, i'm not asking for CPR (Crush People's Ribs) hahaha)
Who's gonna wrap me up in the colour of love?
Who's gonna build a bridge to my heart?
Who's gonna be the angel by my side?

And no, its not that i'm dwelling in self pity. I just feel as if i need someone to jazz my life up a little. Just someone to annoy to no extent.. Someone to laugh with.. Someone to talk to.. Whether about brainy issues or about stupid petty little things.
And no, i'm not and not going to get all desperate and needy..
I've been patient for 5 bleeding years.. so much so, my heart's probably decaying as i speak (or type) and let's just say, its gonna take LOADS and LOADS of effort to reverse the damage.

This got me thinking, i should probably weigh out possibilities or at least contemplate on swinging both ways.. haha.. it could possibly oh wait a minute, definitely widen my options.. :) cause at the rate i'm going, 30 years from now, i'll probably be an old spinster rocking my chair, knitting old-womanly clothes in an old run down hut in the middle of a forest. haha..

So anyway, enough of being nostalgic and all... Here is a little taste of heaven in my world. Marilyn, Lina, many many other hair models and I did a runway show for Toni & Guy.. All i have to say about it, is that i had such a blast. Nevermind that i had to wear a bikini top while everyone were given funky jackets to put on.. Nevermind my hair was labelled as nothing more than a mushroom.. i would not trade it for the world.. :)

You can check out some of the pictures on Marilyn's blog..
marilynisscreaming.blogspot.com
i dont know how to create a link.. sorry.. but have fun viewing.. :)

And don't make fun of me mushroom hair. It is what they call a precision cut and apparently, not every hairdresser is capable of producing such, fine art work. I had many camera's pointed towards my head of hair as long as the mushroom was blown into shape. I even had to hold my breath and desperately attempt to not flinch (not even slightly) as the hair stylist retouched and trimmed the left side of my hair. So, hat's off to William the hair stylist for being able to achieve the desired look. Congratulations for graduating and making it into the Toni & Guy group of hair stylists. :)

The case of the hair

2006-01-16T05:35:00.000-08:00

A couple of days back my impulsive nature took quite a toll on me..
It forced me to liberate myself from my precious long locks of hair.

I honestly dont know why i did it.

I don't know if i did it as a favour for a certain individual i happen to be very irritated with at the moment.

I don't know if i did it to chase a certain dream i've been dying to achieve for as long as i can remember..

I don't know if i did it as a sign of liberation from the things i used to hate and despise about myself

I don't know if i did it to throw away unwanted memories

I don't know if i did it because i was tired of being plain Jane

I don't know if i did it just for a change

Heck, I don't know if i did it for attention

In anyway, I did what I did and there's no turning back..
Some say my hair's better than before.. some say otherwise..
You be the judge..

Before.. (taken with my drunken brother)

AFter..

(My sister decided to join in the fun..)

What say you?

I'm actually getting a little tired of having to type..
I should maybe try POdcasting..
I'm quite sure that'll be fun!! :)

2006-01-01T06:12:00.000-08:00

Alexander Graham Bell once wrote, " When one door closes another door opens; but we look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us"

Life should never be filled with regrets cause everything endured in life should be taken as a lesson. A lesson for self improvement, a lesson for a better future, a therapeautic lesson. :) It is infact the vial of life.

So, as you look back on 2005, do not ponder and think about the past..do not regret on silly mishaps and dwell on the 'should have and shouldn't have's, look towards the future! Heck you only live once..

Thus,

Welcome 2006 with open arms.
:)

When yellow's not always as bright as the Sun..

2005-12-28T05:39:00.000-08:00

After a day long's worth of walking, driving, shopping, talking... etc etc.. and after having accumulated a torturous amount of dirt,sweat and what not on myself i decided to head home for a nice hot shower..

Believe me when i say i was desperate for a shower.. Just the sight of the car was enough to heighten my state of excitement. I needed that shower.

20 mins later.. there i was in the bathroom, one hand holding up the shower head, one hand trying turning the faucet to the fullest and both eyes fixated to the amount of water flowing out from the shower head. Nevermind the water was ice cold, the flow of it was so low i could almost count the water molecules as it fell to the floor. I was at utter disbelief. I had only one hope for that day and it was shattered...

Why? Why? Why?

Those darn MPSJ ppl HAD to cut the water supply on that one day i took my bath late. Darn you maniacs.. DARN YOU People!!! How could you??!??! Grrrrr...

So anyway, moving on, i decided to just deal with what i had and prepared for a long, slow and draggy bath. It took forever just to wash the soap off one of my arm.. let alone the whole body. After a painstaking half an hour, i was ready to wash my face and jump out of the shower.

That was when the horror started.

As i frantically attempted to spread the face cleanser evenly on my face at top speed, i dropped the shower head. Nevermind that, all i had to do was squat down and feel for the damn thing. But as i washed the soap of my face, i opened my eyes only to find that the clear-almost non existent water has now morphed into dark yellow urine looking water. If the colour wasn't enough to turn me off entirely, there was this metally smell irradiating from the water.

And yes, you guessed it.. I screamed! i screamed so hard i put woman in labour to shame.

AAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaRRRrrRRrrRrrRrRrrggggggGGggGgGgHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

It was bloody 1am.. I was Tired, sleepy, sticky and extremely IRRITated!!!

If you're my neighbour and you're reading this, i hope it explains the noise and i'm sorry..

BUt if you, whoever you may be and is responsible for this, damn you... ggrrrr... may you burn!!!

NOw i had 2 options;
(a) Leave the soap on till morning
(a 1) Wait for the remaining soap to crystallize on my face and slowly peel it off 2 hours later ( had to eliminate this option cause i would have fallen asleep by then and thus, would have to end up reverting back to (a))
(b) Use disgusting water to wash soap off

I figured i didn't care anymore.
I could only think about going to sleep.
I was exhausted and i wanted to comatose on my bed.

I took a deep breath and 'wa lah" the soap was gone..
Twas the end of my shower..

And hence, a feeling i've never felt before... i've successfully emerged from a shower dirtier and possibly smellier than before.. Like they always say.. there's a first for everything... :s

I cringe just thinking about it.....

A blog for the sake of blogging.. :)

2005-12-08T11:19:00.000-08:00

As you might have realised, my blog has been left pretty adjacent for a while.

Why? you might ask..
Well, i'm proud to announce i have dedicated most of my (present) time to the world of dancing.. YES, you heard it right.... Dancing..I know, i know, i'm known to many as a big (actually big is a bit of an understatement.. ) I'm a humongous well-known klutz.

I always wonder..

Why do guys (in general) perceive dancing as being gay? I mean, come on, if you were to watch professional dancers in action, other than the skimpy lycra tights and the buldging manly assests, you have to admit, they ARE pretty darn manly. Not many guys have the physique of a dancer, not many guys have the balls to stand in front of an arena of ppl, not many guys are able to toss girls around... literally!! I mean, you ( the guys in general), have to obtain a certain heightened state of manlyness to achieve the trust of a girl who is about to let you toss her which ever way you must...True?

I always wonder..

Have you ever known something you just can't explain or put into words but you feel it? Isn't it just out-of-this world annoying.. worst when there's no one you can tell or confide into.. Truth be told, its not the best feeling in this world but, this is life. Life's never perfect.

For the bored and the lazy

2005-11-15T00:50:00.000-08:00

I'm bored and i'm lazy.

I have unconsciously brought a new meaning to the word bumming. I have gravely defied all laws of lazing around.. so much so i cannot even begin to describe what i do.
It would be too much of an embarassment.

A friend once called me a wild boar.
Apparently i have gone beyond the border of being pig like.
Worst part is, i cannot even begin to deny it

Truth be told,
I must say, is rather hard to accomplish. To be classified as a pig, you are only required to either laze around by taking no less than 439508230974 naps a day or by eating 2 thrillion meals a day.
All you need to do to be a wild boar is to just do both.
Why should anyone settle for just one of those options when you can have the best of both worlds? hah hah

These 2 words (bored and lazy) are like miracle workers. They can get you out of just about any situation. By saying that you're bored or lazy, no one would bother you, instead, they would look up to you for being honest about declining their offer. Don't believe me? Try it.. :)

And well, as far as i'm concerned, if the words "bored" and "lazy" fail to exist in the dictionary or in the world for that matter, i would be at a literall lost for words. Really. I would have probably reverted to being mute as a way out. If that fails, i could subject myself to a lot more unproductive uneventful nonsense.. (e.g. counting the number of tiles on my roof, jump around frantically till i tire or maybe even pass out due to dizziness, swing my arm round and round till it falls off.. aaahh you get the idea lah.. )

If you think about it, the words bored and lazy can be used as an excuse to get you of just about anything.. :)

I'm lazy could work for any of these questions.
1) Do you want to go out?
2) Do you want to meet up?
3) Arent you going to have lunch?
4) Why are you not sleeping?
5) Why aren't you studying?
6) bla bla bla.. and the list goes on and on...

I'm bored on the other hand is used less frequently but nonetheless as effective as the former.

and oh i forgot to tell you, the sorry and lazy combination as an excuse is optimum for trying to ease your way out of being told to do anything. so if stating that you're lazy fails, always include being sorry...

If you experience any failed attempts at trying to make these excuses work, don't blame me.
Outcomes are at user's own expense and shitty feedbacks are at user's own risks.

Dont say i didn't warn you.. :)

I'm a Wiccan...

2005-11-14T23:05:00.000-08:00

Another one of those quizzes..

I seem to find myself being such a sucker for these stupid quizzes.. hmmmm..

you are a wiccan, which means that you worship the
earth and everything on it. You believe that
magic is not black nor white, its what you make
it. Good luck with your work and blessed be!

what sort of Witch are you? ( with PICS )
brought to you by Quizilla

What kind of drunk are you?

2005-11-12T20:25:00.000-08:00

Another one of those silly tests which actually plunged in and dug out the curiousity in me :)

What Kind of Drunk Are You?
Brought to you by Rum and Monkey

No surprise there.. hehe

Now that you know me, you should try it and tell me what drunk of drunk you are :)

Wishful thinking...

2005-11-11T03:00:00.000-08:00

Caution: Read only if time is not a factor for you.. oh, and if you can't sleep..:)

"To hope or not to hope?
That's the question i ask of thee.."

Hmmm..
Don't worry, am not trying to get all shakespearean on you, I just have too much time on my hands and i have nothing else to blog about. Let me just show you how much i can say about hope. You'd be surprised.. :)

Hope, a simple word of 4 letters..
Hope, something to live for..
Hope, treatment for the lonely hearted..
Hope, = wishful thinking?

If you think about it, questioning anyone based on the quote above, i should probably just render it an utter waste of time. He/she, basically, anyone in their right mind would definitely walk me towards the light of being hopeful..

No doubt.

Now, sit upright, give your neck a good rub (on both sides), oh, and your shoulders too.. stretch those limbs, straighten your bearings, and ponder on this..

Hope can sometimes be evil.

- I heard that gasp! ha ha :) Thus, breathe in and breathe out.. slowly and hear me out.. :)

HOPE, HOPe, HOpe, Hope, hope..

Hope can and is said to be perfectly capable of prolonging despair and hurt. Maybe even a sip of torment. Ugh..
"Why?" you ask..
Unrealistic, unreachable, unobtainable goals? Or the unforgiving wantingness to hope and wish for something big without using the power of the mind?

Tommorow and the day after is only a vision. The future is only something you can idealise upon. What makes of it is of course, dependant on you, God, and a slight douche of lady luck. But what is life without a vision? How is anyone capable of living life without a drive? I driveless liver or a lifeless driver?

Something to think about..
What if everything you've lived for in life has decided to die on you, and there's no way you could turn it around? Are you gonna break down and cry like a baby? Or are you going to sit and pray for a miracle? Hope seems like the only way out eh?

Now, what if you had everything you ever wanted, would you ever be satisfied with life?
Picture owning this.
A big breath-takingly beautiful house. Throw in an olympic size pool, a backyard greener than the greenest ocean and a car just about anyone can only dream about.
Not satisfied?
Why? No hot spouse to go with it?
Fine. Throw in the spouse.
Not satisfied?
Why? Lacking in love?
Fine. Throw in love.
Not satisfied?
Why? Children?

SEE! No one is ever eVEr EVER satisfied.

Hoping for more than what you already have is NOT an option.
It is who we are.
It is something we need to believe..
It is a binding spirit of needed courage in life...

Get the picture?

Hence, in MY opinion, hope is inevitable. One should just do him/herself a big favour and hope for Realistic, Reachable, Reliable goals. Write down a list of 50 things you would like to achieve before 30 and hope.. and suffer for the best. :)

So, suck it up, everyone's on earth for a reason.. with hope comes faith and believe.. believe in yourself.. you only live once, LIFE IS INDEED BEAUTIFUL!

And yes, the previous blog was written by my sister..

Daisy, the buddy

2005-11-04T17:26:00.000-08:00

Meet my buddy Daisy.

Daisy: Hi all, my name is Daisy. I am a girl in need of a diet and i am trying to pull Candy in too as we have been pigging out a lot. we enjoy doing stuff like walking and singing and shopping for me!! haha... what i can say about Candy is that she really loves eating sour and salty stuff most of the time... She is really brave has nice teeth. and i am sure you want to know more about me so here goes. I am working on my second album with my partner, Cream. We have a lot of stuff going on. Anyways, enough about me.
My description of today would be same old same old. Nothing new. Well, i woke up, had breakfast in bed(PIG) and then played cards with Candy. In the afternoon, we went to play pool. Until now, so here i am. Hope you find Candy'slife entertaining though i know from experience that she is very hard to please and very boring!!=)
Word of advice to Candy: STOP BEING SO HARD TO PLEASE!!!(",)
Buh bye for now!

Oh my gawd.. Wtf??!?

2005-10-29T12:00:00.000-07:00

Which dysfunctional care bear am I?

I could've been a thug bear, a bondage bear, a redneck bear, a stoner bear.. but a frigging GAY BEAR?!?!??!?

gggggggggggggaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.. ppppppppppfffffffffffftttttttttt

Gay Bear

Damn a need a boyfriend..

Which Dysfunctional Care Bear Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Dota 101 - from one noob to another

2005-10-29T01:09:00.000-07:00

Curiousity has finally taken over.. how does anyone in their right mind spend 10 freaking hours playing the same computer game? Well, to be fair, it takes on a certain edge of admiration towards these BRAVE men on my part...

After a very vague, pointless, 10 minute, half-past-six lesson on dota from my dota-obsessed brother i am now able to look at dota from a whole new perspective. Dota is not anymore just another time-and-money wasting-butt enlarging-finger muscle building-eye spoiling sport.

Dota is now a computer game. A game which requires actual brain power. A game which stresses you out. A game which could easily make the biggest-toughest-fiercest but dota-ly handicapped chap go weak in the knees and wince like a monkey... :)

Here is a brief overview
Step 1: Choose hero (in my context, look for the most "gaya" looking character.. Who cares if the hero is difficult to manage? who cares if it's one of the weaker heroes?)

Step2: Buy itenaries - don't know what to buy? Well, if you chose a character who's powers are based on intelligence, buy items which would help boost the hero's intelligence. Still blur? Tap the guy next to you if you're in a cafe.. i usually tap my brother's shoulder. Make sure to dodge as fast as possible as soon as you catch a glimpse of his/her arm nearing anywhere your face.

Step 3: Look for enemies to kill. - Don't know which is friend and which is foe? Kill it anyway.

Step 4: Make way to the enemy's base

Step 5: Destroy base
Warning: Its not as easy as it sounds

Step 6: Scream for joy you've won!!

- To all the noobs, Ignore Step 3 onwards. All you have to do is try to stay alive.. and occasionally kill vicious or enemy looking characters.

If all fails, scream, jump, cry, curse, bang your fists on the table (be sure to avoid the mouse and the keyboard in the process). Basically, do whatever that helps in dealing with the pain of being owned. It wouldn't help you win but it would definitely help in decreasing death-by-dota tendencies. Believe me.. I've tried it, It Works! :)

Definitely an easy game to play, but to some, including myself.. extemely difficult to master.

Don't cha!

2005-10-26T14:00:00.000-07:00

Don't you just hate it when nothing is the way it seems?

Don't you sometimes feel like you're living a lie? Even worse when there's nothing you can do about it?

Don't you just have it when someone insults you without even realising it?
Worse, when you're hurting like you've just broken all the bones in your body inside and that someone's having the best day of his/her life..

Don't you just hate it when you always come in second no matter how hard you try?

Don't you just hate superficial relationships? Its as if you're living a freaking lie. Its as if you're forced to stage a play 24/7. Its as if the smile on your face is the result of a face lift gone wrong.. Bloody tiring shit. Bloody stressful. And bloody well, not worth my time...

Don't you just hate disgustingly ungrateful dates? I mean, if you're uninterested and all have the decency and at least the balls to let the other person know. Why be present in the first place? A flutter in his or her heart is probably a flutter in the brain.

Don't you just hate it when you do everything in your power to look the best way you possibly can before discovering a zit the size of the China at the tip of your nose?

Speaking of which, it has come to my attention that my hair is losing its volumicity.. My hair, just like the owner has its own mood swings. My hair like the many celebrities who revert to starving themselves silly has decided to take on this unworldly trend. Thus, i am now shedding hair like a cancer patient. Yes, it is that bad. :( I mean, come on.. I always tell the truth.. even when i lie.. hah!

Picture this..
Step 1: Hold an egg upside down

Step 2: Draw a thick black line around the perimeter of the top of the egg

Step 3: Picture my face on the egg

Ta da.. That is how my hair looks now. Terrible ain't it..
Oh well, should be happy to at least have a head of hair.. beats these anyday.. :)

- The best of two worlds..

By the way, that's Koko the gorilla :)

"The test of literature is, I suppose, whether we ourselves live more intensely for the reading of it." - Elizabeth Drew

2005-10-24T22:30:00.000-07:00

Time and again i tell myself..
"Thou shalt not blog!!"
Next thing you know, here i am, devoting my precious, inexplainably wonderful sleep to the world of blogging. Not that its that early in the morning, its 1015am, the sun is up and all.. but in my defence, i had a very late night. haha

Time and again i tell myself..
"Thou shalt not succumb to the norms!!"
Next thing you know, here i am, trying my best to make my blog look or at least seem interesting. Every Tom, Dick and Harry has a bleeding blog and now, Van Ren has one too. :) Blogs are like little windows to one's soul. Reading blog is like taking a peek into a little window a blogger has left slightly adjacent to the prying eye. Who needs a friend who is willing to lend an ear when you're able to blog about anything? The internet or at least the blog website will never get sick of you.. hehe I'm not saying i don't appreciate my friends.. but it kinda gets the mind working, right?

To all my friends, I Love you Guys!! <-- i hope that makes up for the previous paragraph :)

Time and again i tell myself..
"If you want to earn the big bucks and make it big in life, study study study.. "
Next thing you know, i'm doing everything in my power to avoid my books. The news is suddenly indispecably interesting, literature is suddenly understandable and writing blogs has suddenly taken a new lease in life. Okay fine, not yours maybe.. mine.. maybe. :)

Time and again i tell myself..
"Why do i keep doing this to myself??"
Isssshhh.. i'm hopeless... :)

P.S. this is probably a futile attempt at trying to blog, but heck, hope it entertained your sorry ass for a good minute :)